As we move through December, are your children developing a case of the gimmees?

Commercialization doesn’t serve these sacred days, our wallets, or our children. Seasonal ads whip kids into a frenzy of desire that can only crash and burn. The first question at school in January is usually “What’ja get?”

But none of the holidays we observe in December has anything to do with purchasing things. Each is an opportunity to celebrate – the birth of the Savior, the Seven Principles of Kwanza, the return of the light with the Solstice, and the miracle of faith symbolized by the Chanukah lights.

Protective parenting means gently reminding kids of the real meaning of your holiday. How?

• Celebrate your family by making an appreciation paper chain. On each link write an appreciation of someone else in the family: Dad makes the best pancakes, Michael shared his truck with me, Grandma has a beautiful laugh.
• Tell kids any “gift” lists must include gifts they want to give someone else and gifts that involve you spending time doing something (inexpensive) with them as well as (limited) “bought” gifts.
• Only give presents to children. For adults, make a donation in their name.
• Make presents with your kids: big batches of playdough, brownie mix in a jar, bath salts or cookies. Remember, your goal is to delight your giftees with a token of affection, not to garner status points.
• Talk as a family about a gift you want to give this year from your family to the world — maybe a donation, or serving together at a soup kitchen.
• Take the focus off presents altogether. What your kids really want is your time. What can you do to spend more time connecting with each child today?

What are you doing today to fill your own cup with love and joy?

So how’s December working out for you?
If your answer was “GREAT!” you have my deepest admiration.

If not, remind yourself that it’s about connection, not consumption.

We all harbor the secret hope that our life will be transformed for the holidays. Somehow, our home will become worthy of a magazine spread. Our homemade gifts will be the envy of the neighborhood. Our children will be baking for the soup kitchen, starring in the holiday pageant, and never bickering. We, of course, will look and feel fabulous, basking in the warm glow of the season as we greet our guests.

It helps to make these fantasies conscious, so we can let go of them without guilt. Just remind yourself that your happy mood with your kids is so much more important your idealized vision of all you should “give” them – even the educational, values-laden experiences!

Cultivate enough-ness by nurturing yourself over the holidays:
Go for long walks
Take hot baths
Work out at the gym
Trade massages with your spouse or a friend
Cook good wholesome food

The more full you feel inside, body and soul, the less you’ll need to pursue the holiday frenzy. And the more you and your family will find yourselves making meaning, as well as making merry.

Good morning!

Did you make your list yesterday of all the ways to feed your heart and soul? Yes, on paper. If you didn’t please take a moment and begin it now. (On the computer is good, so you can always find it.) If you made your list yesterday please think of one thing to add to it and do that now.

Now, look at your list and pick at least one thing from your list to do today, one thing that will increase your joy and love quotient. Will you put on music and dance with your kids? Take a bath with candles after the kids go to bed? Go to sleep yourself as soon as the kids do so you get a great night’s sleep?

Wondering how you’ll fit this into your busy life? That’s easy. Give yourself a break. Drop something else from your list, at least until tomorrow. I promise the world won’t fall apart. Just say “Staying in touch with my own joy allows it to spill over to my kids.”